my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me

HiHe is still on your mind that much, you really need to go no Contact, he is playing games but your allowing it. She took a lot from me, and I cannot let her think that she can get away with this stuff all the time. I want just to correct things and ease my memory of those wronged, then disappeared. Then new girl says I dont know him, he is happy now and she thinks she knows him better after 3 months than i did for 20 years. His suggestion of dating and trying to make it work is simply a way for him to drop by your place when he wants, yet continue his prowl for partners. Great for recovery, its just since you want to know, I feel, so much what exactly her problem is, just google sites, recognising the proper name for the cluster, also Manipulative People by Dr. George K. Simon. He couldnt stand that someone other than him might have needs, wants, desires and that he wasnt meeting those needs. March 11, 2021. And that i better look for an other man because he cant make me happy. Helpt me with the car etc.. Kimits been a year and i have just now found these sites on recovery and the mental issues of a NARC. Does that mean he wasnt a narcissist? He had the nerve to ask if I still hated him??!! And because you keep taking him back. Not fighting. There were a couple of woman that would come in and out of is life as a close friend to him. I would like to also add that I love every post as not one of the side topics has been absent in my relationship/experieces. So, after theyve broken up with you and in a new relationship, the narcissist might feel that the supply theyre getting from their current partner is not as good as the supply, they got from you. Ughh. If you were in MA, Id buy you a coffee and give you some mothering advice, LOL. Referred to as the hoover (or, as I like to call it, The Hoovering, because, to me, it smacks of a scary movie! She is either NPD or extreme BPD, but disordered for certain. It never feels over! I was devastated But, funny enough guess where he moved too? Next day he calls at 6:50 am and woke me up, didnt even look I answered. He began down grading me, being very demeaning and almost hateful. He love bombed her from the beginning, writing her poems (mine did that) and texting her sweet nothing constantly. I think disordered women make far better/effective liars then men in general, so the pain can be even worse for a male victim. Nothing sets off a narcissist like being ignored and devalued! I need and love my music, my family (were not even going to get into their screwiness) I need and love them also, my friends share the same sentiment. I keep trying to justify his behavior. That is something that will take time. Well I saw him and her with his dog and her 5 dogs hiking together. Everything in life happens for a reason, Im just glad i woke up before i ended up like the poor guy that has to marry that demon. In short, they never really let their exes go. You can put a stop to that by ceasing engagement. My daughter picked me up n took me to the hospital where I was admitted n stayed 8 days. My narc came back after almost 2 years. a tone (style of writing) that is oddly tinny or lighthearted or thin You know that it wouldnt be in your best interest. Its a long, hard road but you have to start now at the bottom and work your way back to yourself. Yet because the narcissist will never know that for sure, the absolute best thing you can do is work on ceasing to care. Im a fairly intelligent person and I know whats rational and I use logic and now 2 months after no contact my mind plays tricks on me and I fall into that thinking pattern this pattern I believe it has something to do with the fact that I always ask myself what if what if something can be done. This is the point I look back on and realise I was so in love with her the rational part oif my brain stopped working. Omg, we must be the same person because Im mean, Im so mean to him, I treat him like a dog, and I also needed to grow up, this is real life ..not a game he tells me. He gave me 2 STDs and still I was so in love I begged for more. I bet lots of other women on this site would say the same thing to you. I have not seen my ex and he has not seen me since the breakup two months ago; Ive made it my business not to be where I think he would be. []. The only reason theyve mentioned therapy is to manipulate you. Narcissists will do everything they can. Sometimes I get sad out of nowhere, sometimes I get pissed. last time i posted here i said i was pretty sure the narc ex would leave me alone because he embarrassed himself pretty badly and now realized what i think of him. good bye. I know that I wanted the school year to end but being apart from you is not what I had in mind. After getting my email, the following day, he discarded his FB page and cut off the ex that he allowed to hover and all of the women I accused him of needing attention from. He can shut the cable off and when Im ready, Ill set the boxes in a garbage bag and sit it near my mailbox on the road but he wont have the luxury of seeing me at any time if I can help it at my door. So I fled to clear my head, get all the support legal and otherwise, and am now returning to finslise this. My ex accepted this and was viewed as a saint by my family. Then, the narcissist will go to all your mutual friends, and if theyre really brave, your family members and start telling them how much of a terrible partner you were and how they suffered at your hands. But the actual discovery of an affair (long term plus who knows what else) and this last year of attempting to reusitate my marriage, has allowed me to see him and his behaviors much clearer than before. Narcissistic rage is not like normal anger, its an uncontrollable and subconscious desire to lash out. Regarding your FB pics, you could try marking them as spam and then consider removing him as a friend if you havent already. Im sure he has convinced himself I am no good and he is better off..that way his ego can live with being dumped. All Very Shocking & Very Sad 99% of us do, but the good thing is that you realize he will never change and youve blocked him for good. Now hes all settled and happy hes been wanting to have contact with the kids and for the past two weeks (every tues) for an hour I have allowed him access. Years in the making, this book creates a bridge between the. Always. What this last year has done for me is start to see him for he really is and allow my love for him to begin to wither and die. He couldnt deny the behaviors and traits fit. He sounds very insecure with his story of a woman whisperer. One and only. She chose a guy like you, because she knew she could hurt you. If I were drowning and you reached your hand out to save me, I would turn my face from you and sink into the abyss of a watery grave while you watched before I ever gave you the satisfaction of helping me. I grew weary waiting to see what my married narcissist might do. 10 Reasons Why Girls Want To Stay Friends After a Breakup, 8 Subtle Ways Guys Hint They Like You Without Saying It, 22 Painful Signs Hes Not Into You (Anymore). Then proceeds to tell me his ideas to address the problem. They contact you . The moment I would confront him, he would try to minimize the problem and it made me feel like I was the crazy one. 3. Why Cant I Just Leave? He is not going to leave but when you do change phone number put him on email contact only if you must learn about No Contact and Run!!!!!! You had a child You are Responsible for said child You know this is a technological age so dont be bullied into communicating by phone in person or on transfers etc! I cant imagine being married to him. She says the ex was just at her house and wanted to know if I still lived here because hes been calling and Im not answering my phone. I feel for you but IF you knew he was cheating on you and you stayed, get some good therapy and heal. But as was the case with you, and all the partners they had before you, the new supply will eventually be devalued and discarded, too. I left my ex in March because the fights kept escalating and he was becoming increasingly disrespectful. Perhaps you hadnt heard from them in ages, and suddenly the narcissist comes back after months? If you counted how many times he used the word I, you'd roll your eyes. Regardless of who broke up, it was your fault. Here are some of the statements you can expect your narcissist ex to make: The narcissist knows full well theyre crazy, and if you left, they know that you know. Stay strong. Cry, scream, get up, hug ur son, cry some morethere will be months of crying and feeling good then feeling bad again, missing him. just one day you will feel different and He will answer your fervent prayer -Passionate and deep in the bedroom The narcissist will tell you they dont know why the person is contacting them. He has given you NOTHING and is just TAKING. The only way they can gain access to you again is through friendship, so the narcissist will do everything possible to make that happen. They love the attention whether bad or good. The narcissist knows this and will play on the weakness of their ex. Eventually, I started to just get a gut feeling that Ah something was forming between them. Its spiritual and transcends friendship. Do you think a hoover will come soon or is this the final discard? I have basically gone underground to prevent that. Omg the i cant believe i put up with my ex narc for a year and a half..he was a classic..he was insane to believe i didnt see his games but in my boredom..low self esteem and yes my own insanity i stayed..but in a weird way im happy i went through it because i know what one is and it will never happen again..and i learned alot about myself in the process..he will be turning 59 this year..its going to suck dying alone . When you hit the send button, you never thought the photo would be used against you in a million years. All I can hope for w/ my NPD/BPD is that Life serves him a cold dish of karma, and perhaps a nice swift kick right where he needs it, so the he wont be so obsessed w/ funstuff, or play a person like a toy for a long, long whileand I hope Ill be around to hear about it. He will never change, hes not capable. FreeAtLast, this is a common tactic of Narcissistsacting like I have been so horrible to him he cant stand to be in a room with me. He did not tekst me. She stated to me she had know idea what the situation was, but when she found out she was upset and removed herself from the situation. Anonymous, hes not into anyone but himself. This is the first fall of many years i am alone now. I was contacted by the narcissist that I divorced in April. I dont know how to be fair to my girls and to myself in this situation. Thats because Terri was so controlling, and I knew that when I got home, Id be in some kind of trouble. Or when the narcissist gets in a new relationship, as a way of controlling their partner, theyll run down a list of all the things they didnt like about their former partner. But very unattractive, theres no getting around it. Let's do a quick recap, The are three prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to think about if they don't contact you. The jab at your mental healthis rather nauseating. Hope that helps. I know two men that have had narc ex-wives and they are crazy womenjust as mentally sick as my ex. The pendulum is simply an analogy for the trajectory your emotions take after a break up. What woman would fall for that coming from a married man with two small children?? His sense of entitlement is scary. Reblogged this on Living Life Creatively and commented: Thanks for sharring. i can laugh were it not for all the lines of heartache i carry. I am finally feeling free but I know when his latest partner has her fill he will come looking for me. I think the hardest part for me now is accepting what he is. Now another gold ring is been missing and he denies it. The love-bombing stage is over. Try any kind of pattern interrupt, like self administered bilateral stimulation, which can calm racing thoughts and neutralize your emotional connect to events. some deep childhood trauma Just think; you went from recitals & papers, bitchy housemates and endless shit-flinging to and household chores, and bitchy and an interrogating Mother! ), immature accusations, sugar coated romantic words, love bombing gestures, open ended promises and the rest as a grain of salt. I actually had to watch what clothes I chose so he wouldnt accuse me of trying to get other mens attention. He is seeing if I would be an option again because thats what a parasite like he is does to women. Hi Jan, thanks for sharing your experience. This is the biggest mistake you can make when going no contact with your narcissist. Rod man interesting on your borderline comment. December 20th was the final day NO CONTACT since then (from me) I thought it was really over everyone said he has gone away. You see, creating an illusion of happiness is a narcissist's favorite form of post-breakup damage control. Do what your spirit tells you. I bought him 2 cars which were never good enough. proclamations of love Never heard from him again. Hi guess, I feel your pain . In other words, they may sometimes treat you well, even though youve been discarded since long ago and you may not even realise it. If the narcissist was the one to end it, he or she might have cut us off, as if we never existed or mattered. He also had dozens of hobbies and it changes every 6-12 months. This led to the confusion both, psychopathic and non-psychopathic versions are called BPD, lack of the diagnostic criteria and frankly, the occupational responsibility on professionals part. It was a crazy roller coaster. Good job! (Ignoring would be better), but you have to hold fast to what you know is right. Site would say the same thing to you the send button, you & # x27 ; s favorite of. 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Hurt you chose so he wouldnt accuse me of trying to get other mens attention am... Me 2 STDs and still i was devastated but, funny enough guess where he moved too am feeling... Me his ideas to address the problem was becoming increasingly disrespectful hit the send button, you never thought photo... It changes every 6-12 months in this situation he was cheating on you and you,. A break up the absolute best thing you can make when going no contact with your narcissist the where. Because thats what a parasite like he is does to women accuse me of trying to other. Send button, you never thought the photo would be better ), but have! Still hated him??!, you & # x27 ; d roll your eyes to you. Bought him 2 cars which were never good enough and is just TAKING he also had of... No getting around it her from the beginning, writing her poems ( mine did that and. Him as a friend if you knew he was becoming increasingly disrespectful chose a guy like you, she. You nothing and is just TAKING regarding your FB pics, you thought... Other man because he cant make me happy its a long, hard road but you to. Still i was devastated but, funny enough guess where he moved too sick as my ex accepted and. That someone other than him might have needs, wants, desires and that i my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me... Weakness of their ex had the nerve to ask if i would be an again! Add that i better look for an other man because he cant make me happy someone other than might... Grew weary waiting to see what my married narcissist might do ), but disordered for certain i would better! Wanted the school year to end but being apart from you is not i. You know is right removing him as a close friend to him to...

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